WHAT NOT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO LIVES IN A "NOT SO GOOD" AREA

It's crazy to think it's almost been 2 years ago when we started entertaining if we could buy a home again. I say again, because we were the "1 in 5 million" that lost their homes during the mortgage crisis, but I'll have to share more on that later.

Just to give some context, if you don't know, the Chicagoland area is very segregated either by race or class, which when you think about it really goes hand in hand. Someone can tell you what neighborhood they live in, and you can have an idea if that neighborhood is, "good or bad" "affluent or low income." I know...crazy right?!? There's so much Chicago history on how it became so divided, and it continues to remain one of the most segregated cities in the US. Feel free to Google it, if you are intrigued and want to learn more.

Our home buying experience was interesting because the more we shared we were looking to buy, the more we got unwarranted advice, suggestions and questions. For example, I had a friend ask me where we were looking.  Now mind you, my husband is the only salaried person in our home. With the home buying process, using the salaried income is the best way to go.  Also, we were very determined to find a space that fit our needs, but didn't want to go beyond what we were currently paying for our apartment....which was no easy task. So to answer her question, I hesitantly mentioned some nearby suburbs (just out of the city), and she quickly responded that I should add in a very commonly known affluent community. It left me in an awkward situation of what to say, because I knew this quaint community existed, it just wasn't within our budget. So, I nodded my head, and changed the conversation. These comments came constantly. After searching for months, we found the perfect home for us in a community called Maywood, which is just outside of Chicago.

Now after we bought our home, more comments came. If you don't know anything about Maywood, it has a reputation of being considered a "bad area" or "up and coming," in which, I'm not a fan of these words. Maywood was a thriving community until the mid 1970's when a major factory closed down causing a huge loss of jobs. The community never really recovered after that. Today, it has a 97% minority population, it's a food desert, there's lots of abandoned homes, and more. The assumptions about Maywood bother me, because the reality is they are mircoagressions towards a certain people group, whether we want to admit it or not, and lets not forget, I am one of "those" people.

So friends, I want to share 4 things not to say to someone who is looking or just bought a home in what would be considered a "not so great" area.

1. SO....HOW'S MAYWOOD (OR INSERT SAID NEIGHBORHOOD?!?)

You wouldn't believe how many times I've gotten this question. Sometimes I don't really know how to respond. But I say, "Oh we love it!" You guys....we can't always believe what blogs, articles and non-residents have to say about "these" areas. Unless you've lived in that neighborhood, please don't share what might be inaccurate opinions. I have experienced community more here, than anywhere else we've lived. Our neighbors look out for us, helped us when we got stuck in the snow, closed our garage door when we forgot to close it on several occasions and so much more! Our neighbors are genuinely amazing!

Maybe instead ask "How are you enjoying homeownership?"

2. OH....SO, HOW'S THE SCHOOLS?

This usually is the followup question after the first one. One time, I did have someone just go straight to this question. And my response was...."Ummm, I don't know. We homeschool." We’ve been a homeschooling family for 4 years because we quickly learned our daughter thrives better one on one. However, with a basic internet search I could gather an idea that the schools are considered "underperforming," but I don’t believe we should formulate an opinion without actually walking into each of the schools, meet with the principal, and allowing ourselves to draw our conclusions. Let's not let the internet and hearsay be what determines if a school is good or not.

Maybe instead ask "How are you enjoying your child's school?"

3. SO HAS ANYTHING BAD HAPPENED TO YOU WHILE LIVING THERE.

I couldn't believe I was actually asked this but I was. I could tell this friend was trying not to dig herself deeper in a hole. I responded quickly with a no, and shared more of my positive experiences with my neighbors, but at this point the subject got so awkward that the subject was changed.

Maybe instead ask "How are you enjoying new your neighborhood?" or "Tell me what you are loving most about your new neighborhood?" See a pattern here?!?

4. YOU SHOULD JUST MOVE TO THE SUBURBS WHERE THERE'S  A WHITE PICKET FENCE AND THE SCHOOLS ARE REALLY GOOD, YOU'LL PAY HIGH TAXES BUT IT'S WORTH IT.

Yup! I've gotten this one too. Now as awesome as that sounds, the reality for us is that our budget couldn't go that high. I had another friend, say, "Well you could live "here" if you just allocated your budget appropriately." I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry.

You guys, we have to remember that just because one might be able to purchase a $500k+ home doesn't mean everyone can. Heck not everyone can qualify for a $200K+ home. We have to remember that we all live on different levels of income, and if we are truly submerging ourselves around those who don't all look and live like us, we have to be aware of how our livelihoods may not be like be our friends. Also, we have to be aware of the words we say, and how they may come from a place of privilege, may be making an assumption about a certain people group, or sharing insight on hearsay that is  founded in stereotypes and prejudice. Now let me clarify, there's no shame in your game if you can purchase a $500k+ home, just don't forget that isn't the story for everyone. We have to be willing to ask ourselves, "Is my circle of friends living a similar lifestyle as me? Does everyone I hang out with look like me?" If they are, then we have to ask ourselves, "Am I truly diversifying myself in a way where I'm doing life with those who don't look and live I do?? Are my actions aligning with my words, and what I say I'm for?"

Instead say: "I love that you are looking to buy a home, what is your dream home?!?" or "I heard you bought a home, how did you know that was your 'Home'? Did you get that tingling feeling inside?"

All in all, Jeremy and I are challenged to live our lives in a way that honors Jesus, which to us means not living above our means. Remember how I mentioned earlier that we were the "1 in 5 million" that lost our home during the mortgage crisis?!?  Well, we did everything we thought we were supposed to then, to achieve the American Dream. We believed that buying a home beyond what our income could handle and filling it up with lots of brand new beautiful furniture somehow meant that we "arrived." Before we knew it, we lost everything, and in losing it all, it taught us to let go of the American Dream, and begin to go after the God Dream. For us the God dream is living out each of our purposes in whatever way that looks. Now that may mean we won't be super wealthy, but we are okay with that. As long as we can eat, support our kids, and pay our bills, while going after our God dreams, we are more than happy! Now let’s say our income increased significantly…..we still have a huge conviction to stay simple, live on less so we can give more, and help support other’s big God dreams. So to us, where we live doesn't matter. It's about making our home a home filled with love, safety, and togetherness, while our door is open to being a light to those around us.

So....who wants to be our neighbor?!?

LETS TALK ABOUT MONEY....

Finances is something that doesn't come easy to me. I never learned how to manage it, so I just did the best I knew. Four years ago, we went to a budget bootcamp class, and it was the first time Jeremy and I actually were on the same page, saw that we could save (we just weren't) and more! We created a plan to finish paying off our student loan debt, and anything else that was outstanding.

Now that we learned how to budget, and paid off of our debt, I was still feeling a disconnect b/t our finances and our budget. Almost as if, no matter how hard we worked, our budget felt tighter and tighter. I came to realize that I wasn't financially literate. I didn't know what it meant to create a plan for it, how to invest or anything.

I remember sometime in Dec. of 2017, I asked God to teach me about money. And literally within 30mins, He places a someone in my life who says she wants to mentor me. Let me be honest, the first week we met, I heard some hard words that I needed to hear. She told me I had limited thinking when it came to money.

What I mean, is that, I had a poverty mindset. Now I'm about to get real  and vulnerable here. I hope this is a safe space for me to not feel judged, but I truly believed that my life was meant to be one of struggle, and never having enough. When I thought about God and all of who he is, I believed that He is who He says He is for everyone else but me. I had no idea how much it controlled me, my thoughts, my actions, and how I perceived other people. This is one of the many topics I get to talk, process, and heal from with my therapist.

So when She said I had limited thinking, it was almost as if the scales on my eyes fell off. And I was immediately intrigued. I wanted to learn more!!! So she gave me homework, and told me to start educating myself on the world of finances.

So I love to share with you what I'm learning!

1. Read Poor Dad Rich Dad

THIS BOOK!!!! I believe every entrepreneur should read this book. I mean, every business owner should be reading books on finance! Why? Well because we are in business to make a profit, and if we don't understand how money works, or how to make it work for us, how can we profit off of it? Anyways this book revolutionized my mind. My one big take away, was to to stop saying," I can't afford that."

2. Started Reading Unstoppable by Tony Robbins

I had heard of Tony Robbins before, but if I'm honest I didn't ever really know much about him. All that came to mind was seminars and a Netflix documentary?!? In which I could be totally wrong. Well, he popped up on my facebook feed in a private entrepreneur group I'm in, and was mesmerized by him, and everything he was saying. So I bought his book, and am more than halfway through it! It's been so good learning about investing, how to find an advisor who would be a fiduciary, and more.

3. Signed up for a Real Estate Flipping workshop

You know how FB can get creepy sometimes right?!? Well, this couple popped up in my feed about flipping homes, and Jeremy and I have had several conversations about us starting to flip homes, but we always pushed it to the back burner. Well, this couple popped up and they were offering a free workshop. Now I knew they may be selling something, but wanted to dip my toes into the world of real estate and see what I could learn from it. Rick from Poor Dad, Rich Dad, talks about learning a formula and sticking with it! So the goal here was to learn their formula of real estate, see if it's a good fit for us, and then put it into practice! Flipping homes here we come!!!

4. Had lunch with my dad and chatted about investing

Both Rick and Tony talk about getting around people who know more than you. I have heard my dad talk about investing in stock, and wanted to have a one on one conversation with him, about what he's learned, and any nuggets he can give me, as I continue to learn, and decide which route I want to go in when it comes to investing in stock. It's all about diversifying baby!

5. Started Reading The Money Type.

This book is amazing. It's based on 7 biblical characters in which you take a test to see which one you identify with. He then goes through each money type and shares who they each feel, think and act with money. I've learned soooo much about myself, and how God created me. I especially recommend this book if you are married, because you will learn such great insight on how your spouse sees money, and how your differences aren't wrong, but different.

MUSIC VIDEO | RECKLESS LOVE

photo by: Ed and Aileen Photography

I resonate so deeply with this song, and I had no idea how influential it would be over my healing process this past year. In May 2017, I started going to therapy to process through my childhood. This song became a cornerstone during my healing. I couldn't believe that in the midst of my pain, and the broken pieces of my story, God's love for me is so reckless that he would leave everyone and anyone for me. That he would light up all the dark areas of my past, he would tear down every lie I've believed, and that I AM STILL WANTED. I have wept over this song, as I have allowed it to become a song of truth, in turn allowing it to tear down the lies and mindsets that I've believed over myself for so long.

Music has a way of freeing us. There's such beauty, love and grace in it. I pray that this song blesses you! I hope that you would allow yourself to experience the overwhelming never ending reckless love of God!

Wishing you a very Happy Valentine's Day!

-Jasmine

MUSIC VIDEO "A MILLION DREAMS"

Photo By: Ed and Aileen Photography

I can’t express the joy I have in being able to share this video with you! When Dakota was a baby (about a year old) I noticed that as I would walk around the house humming she’d be able to match my notes in her cute little baby voice. As the proud new parent I was, I of course turned it into a fun party trick :) 

 As she grew older, I realized that she had a PASSION for singing. I mean, eyes closed, hands clenched kind of passion. We would spend so much time singing together over the years and at one point she even asked me to start giving her little vocal lessons. 

What amazes me about her is that she has that little heart of worship and its grown into a full blown love for God and music.

Well, last week we went and saw The Greatest Showman together (her first time, my third), and I couldn’t stop looking over at her huge smile. She was so moved by the film and the music and so we decided to share our favorite song from the movie. There's a moment in the film where Barnum’s character hears his kids singing this song he once sung as a kid and it shoots him right back to that childlike wonder. I think that's what struck me the most about this song. It's a beautiful reminder of the wonder of a child that still lives in all of us. So I hope it inspires you as much as it inspired us!

-Jeremy Lopez

WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY FRIEND, MELISSA.

It's crazy to think that it's been one month since my friend Melissa passed away. Grief as a way of coming in moments not expected, where all of sudden, I find myself crying. I think of her often, and how so many miss her too, especially her family and husband. If you don't know anything about Melissa, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer a few years ago, after treatment she started a shop called Hope 25. Her dream was to grow her photography business, and continue to inspire the cancer community through her inspirational t-shirt designs, and then her Breast Cancer Metastasized rather quickly taking her independence.

Our friendship started at the time of her first diagnosis. We first connected through Facebook, and then started getting together for coffee dates, and if not coffee then it was tacos. We talked about photography, family/marriage, Jesus, and how we wanted to impact the world. We were also accountability partners at the beginning of 2017 for our businesses, and would text each other often. Needless to say, while we weren't  friends for lots of years, she was a very dear friend to me and greatly impacted my life. I'm grateful that she allowed me to walk along side her as she battled Breast Cancer. As a way to celebrate her life, I wanted to write a blog post on how Melissa left an everlasting fingerprint on me.

So, here's 6 things she taught me.

HOW TO PUNCH FEAR IN THE FACE.

This was her mantra. When she was first diagnosed, she told me that this was her season of punching fear in the face. I saw this girl use her story to help and inspire so many. She didn't allow her insecurities, or fears to stop her. While she may have been soft spoken when meeting new people, she was bold and courageous on social media. Now punching fear in the face didn't mean she didn't have fears, because she did. It was through her vulnerability that encouraged so many to know that it's okay to have fears, but to stand in truth, and to overcome those fears.

TO OPEN UP MY HEART FOR FRIENDSHIP AGAIN.

I went through a major loss of friendships before Melissa entered my life. Her friendship helped me to open up my heart, and allow myself to befriended, and loved.

HOW TO LISTEN.

Melissa was a great listener. Sometimes she'd let me just talk, while she listened. One thing she didn't want was to constantly talk about her cancer and treatments. She wanted to feel normal, and did that by wanting to know what was going on with me, which was extremely hard for me, but wanted to honor her wishes. Other times, we just watched random TV shows together, like CatFish.

TO JUST GO FOR IT.

When Melissa shared her shop idea with me, she was a little hesitant in how to do it and make it all work, and then I kid you not, a week later she launched her website, and Insta. I was like "whoa".....She just went for it. She may have not had it all figured out, but she was going to, and that determination led her selling over 1,000 t-shirts.

TO LAUGH AND DANCE MORE ESPECIALLY WITH THOSE YOU LOVE.

Melissa had the sweetest laugh, she did this thing with her nose where she would scrunch it and giggle. She taught me to laugh and be silly. I also loved watching her IG stories when she would laugh and dance with her husband. It was so inspiring to watch the love she had for him, and for her family.

CHERISH YOUR FAMILY

Melissa had this amazing connection with her family. She loved spending time with her mom, and sometimes when we went to events together, her mom would come along. I loved it! Their bond was truly special, but this wasn't just with her mom, she had this bond with her brother too. As a matter of fact they did their photography business together. I loved watching how her family loved each other so well and deep.

I'm sure I could write a ton more, but I end with this! Melissa, I miss you friend. But I can imagine you dancing and laughing with Jesus right now, and that gives me peace, knowing that I'll get to see you again.

NEW MUSIC VIDEO "JESUS WE LOVE YOU"

Hi Everyone, it's Jeremy here! I wanted to share the first of what I hope will be many music videos. I have a huge passion for leading worship and have come across so many great songs that have encouraged my faith. I'll be recording stripped down versions of some of my favorite worship songs, originals songs, and even songs that I've come to love. My hope is to share these songs with you so that you too can be encouraged. So be sure to check back here often for new videos and subscribe to my YouTube channel!

CELEBRATING OUR WINS FROM 2017

You guys we are 11 days into the new year, and I felt this strong sense that before I start sharing, and digging deep into our life, and all that we hope for in 2018, that I should take a moment to celebrate our wins from 2017. Right?!?  So as I have taken time to sit, and write, I'm so excited to share all that we accomplished in 2017.

Now, I confess, we weren't the best at goal setting then, and I don't have record of what ALL our goals were. But I do know which goals we achieved and wanted to share them with you, and maybe do a little victory dance for them....hmmm....that sounds like fun?!? :)

I'm also sharing them, so I can sit in the reality that while we weren't good at goal setting we accomplished some pretty BIG goals last year, and for that, it's something worth celebrating!!!

1. Go on a couples trip.

This was a goal I never thought we'd accomplish, but Jeremy made it happen sooner than any of our other goals. For my birthday, which happens to be in Jan., he surprised me with a trip to LA. So for 5 days we got to just have fun, not work, and be together. It was definitely a great way start of the year for our marriage.

2. Find a therapist. (Jasmine's personal goal)

In April of 2017, I hit my darkest most hardest depression. Mental illness is something I've always wrestled with, but hadn't done any work on talking through my past, or start the healing process. I have known that I should be talking with someone, but finding that trusted person was hard. Well, through my small group, a friend shared her therapist's info. with me. I'll admit, after my friend texted me the therapists contact info., it took me a few more weeks to reach out, and then a few more weeks to officially get a session scheduled. It's been over 6 months now that I started my healing journey, and I couldn't be more grateful to my therapist and to God for all the healing that I've experienced in such a short amount of time.

3. Go on a family vacation.

Going on a family vacation is something we had always wanted to do, but knew we would need a big budget in order to make it happen. Especially since the kids were asking to go to Orlando. So we crunched the numbers mid-summer and asked ourselves if this was something we could really do. While Jeremy and I had 2 different opinions on this, I felt I should follow his lead, which isn't always easy for me. He believed that somehow extra money, not a part of our budget, would become available, and that's how we would pay for our vacation, coupled with finding great deals. Well I kid you not in less than 48hrs later, Jeremy was hired for a design project, and to lead worship at a church. Between both of those gigs it covered most of the cost for our trip. I promise I'll share more in detail on how we did our vacation at a super affordable cost in another post. But yay, in November 2017, we took our very first family vacation.

4. Buy a 2nd Vintage Trailer of our Photo Booth Business.

This was a business goal of ours, well maybe more mine than Jeremy's. With the craziness of our schedules we just knew we had to outsource most of the work, and leave painting, and decor to me. In July we picked it up, and in less than one week, we celebrated our new trailer at the most beautiful backyard wedding we had ever been at. Her name is Faye. You can see what it looks like here: jaziphotobooth.com.

5. Pay off our Car.

This goal took lots of determination.....why?!? Well, because my income fluctuates so much, and to intentionally set a big chunk of money each month in our budget to pay off the car was extremely scary. There were months were we didn't have enough, and the average $ amount per month just continued to increase. But God! Through determination, and staying focused on the goal, in Dec. 2017 we paid it off. Yay!!! We are one step closer to being a debt free family! Next is our mortgage....here's to dreaming right?!?

What were some of your goals in 2017 that you accomplished?!?!? I love to celebrate those wins with you!!!

-Jasmine

THE GIFT OF LETTING GO

Family Photos by: Ed and Aileen Photography

There's something about planning for a photo shoot that gets beyond stressful and crazy. Have you ever asked yourself why?!? For me, when I dug deep, I came to realize that I had this expectation of perfection. I wanted everyone to perform. I wanted my husband to be on the same page as me. I wanted my girls to cooperate, and do what the photographer told them to do. This was an ongoing expectation for years....

Well this past July, we had our annual family photo shoot, and I was determined to approach it differently. I'm excited to share the freedom I found when I took a deep breath and let go!

Step 1: Identified my why?!?

Okay so you may be wondering...."What the heck does that mean?!?" Well, I believe each of us should have a "why," when doing a family session. It helps to keep us grounded, and focused on the purpose of why we are doing this, and it helps us to move away from the perfection, bribing, etc. Every family's why will be different. For some it may be to celebrate an addition to the family, for others it may be because you walked through infertility, and you want to document this miracle, for others this may because your in the midst of transition, and so on. Whatever your why is, remind yourself of it, and cling ever so tight onto it! Here's our why: We were in the midst of so much transition, between our oldest being a tween, with hormonal changes and all, to our middle child about to start kindergarten, to our little one no longer being a baby. So much change was happening, and I wanted to capture the essence of what that looked like for us as a family while doing all the things we love to do together. 

Step 2: Found a photographer who is on the same page with what I was looking to capture. 

I told our photographers that I wanted to celebrate this season of life that we are in the midst of, and that our home is a place of safety and togetherness. That I really wanted that to be the focus. The real us!!! And they were all for it.

Step 3: Styling our outfits

For some you may not resonate with this step and that's totally okay! Feel free to move onto step 4. For me though, I love styling, and I love coordinating our outfits. Now that doesn't mean go spend hundreds of dollars on outfits. We personally live on a small budget. I think I got our outfits for less than a 100 bucks at Target. The most important part when it comes to styling is making sure that you stay true to yourself. Ask yourself, "Is this something I'd actually wear while out with the family or with friends?" If you're honest and say no, then keep looking. The point in this is to be intentional and focused on your why, and getting lost in shopping can steer us away from our why. Also be aware that perfection can easily creep in. For me, I had to constantly remind myself of our why.

Step 4: Created a plan by asking myself, "What do we love to do as a family?"

This is such an important step, because each family spends their time differently, and depending on the season of life you are in, I'm sure you have some special things that you love to do together. So why not have those special family things captured?!? For us, our home is a place were we can just be. We love cooking together, having snuggle parties in our bed, having hammock time, playing and singing together, and so much more. I wanted all of this photographed, especially since it coincided with our why. 

Step 5: Committed to no arguing on the day of our photo shoot

You guys this is a huge one!!! I can't tell you how many times we've gotten into arguments right before a photo session, and man has it messed up the flow. Everyone is holding grievances against each other. The kids are stressed. I'm stressed, and everything just feels forced. But this time around we just had fun with it. I even took a moment to look at the mirror to encourage myself, and gave myself permission to have fun.

Step 6: Just have fun with it!

Now, I'm not going to lie, the house wasn't as cleaned as I would have liked. I had an outfit malfunction, and so much more. Instead of focusing on what didn't go as planned, I took a deep breath, and let go!!! And boy did we have fun! We laughed, tickled and played together. By the end of the session, we were shocked at how fun it was. And can I just say....the photos turned out to be everything we wanted.....I may have even cried! They represent us in the most authentic way ever.

All in all friends, there's such freedom in letting go! I hope that when it's time to have your family photographed that you would dig deep, find your why, and allow yourself to have fun while letting go of perfection. 

WHY REBRAND? | Read 1st

Six years ago, I quit my lucrative freelance job to pursue my passion, photography! Along the way, I listened to the outside voices that told me how to do things, and in turn I lost myself. I believed that I needed to separate all of who I am into different accounts. I wrestled with how much I could share, and finding the time to update each one became overwhelming. I realized that my Jazi Photo brand looked like me, but wasn't fully me.  Authentic Adventure is my way of reconnecting with my art and whole myself: a mom, wife, Jesus lover, creative and more. I'm all the more excited for my husband, Jeremy, to jump in and share his heart, ideas, and creativity too. Because you guys, he's a freaking awesome husband, dad, singer and creative. :)

I'm excited to see what Authentic Adventure will turn into. But I'm all the more excited to share MORE of us, in hopes that you are encouraged by our story, our love for our family, and for our faith.

-Jasmine Lopez