Here’s Money Truth’s part 2.
Repeat after me….
MONEY TRUTHS
How do we re-frame our thoughts and beliefs with money?
I love repeating money affirmations that encourage and uplift me to stay rooted in truth. It’s easy to get make comparisons or get lost in the injustices so many of us face, especially when it comes to economic justice. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to build generational wealth at the cost of my neighbor. I don’t want to invest my dollars in corporations who care more about profit than people. I don’t want to invest my dollars in the private prison system and so much more. I want to be a conscious wealth builder that centers our collective thriving.
HEALING FROM MONEY
I’ve always been curious about money even as a little girl, however growing up money wasn’t talked about often. What I knew about money was that it didn’t grow on trees, and the only way to get money was by working hard for it. I started working at the age of 14 making $7 an hour working 12 hr shifts on weekends during the summer, I’m pretty sure that was illegal. When I got paid I put it all in savings and didn’t spend a cent. I was praised for this behavior but looking back it was really rooted out of the fear of not making more and so I needed to hold onto it….scarcity has followed me ever since.
It wasn’t until I started confronting and uprooting the lies I believed about myself and money where I began to heal. I truly believe that our lived experiences deeply impacts how we see ourselves, the world, and money. I can’t say I’m fully healed, but I can say the growth I have had has been amazing. As we entered into 2023 with so much economic uncertainty all around us, it could be easy for me to spiral with my thought patterns, especially in the midst of yet another hard personal financial season. But this time it’s different than before. We have an emergency fund and we are living a fully abundant life in the midst of the numbers not adding up. Our needs are being met along with desires being sprinkled in-between. I call this creative provision. I can share more about that another day, because creative provision is a beautiful opportunity to sit and marvel in all the ways God provides without the actual exchange of physical dollars.
If you’re on a healing journey with money here’s some questions you can reflect on. But first know that stewarding money should be joyful, not filled with shame and fear. Tell shame and fear it doesn’t belong here as you begin to unpack your beliefs around money.
Step 1: When I think about money, how do I feel?
We all have had experiences with money that have impacted us. Take this time to unpack how money makes you feel? How does not having enough make you feel? Or how does having so much of it make you feel? etc.
For example:
I feel depressed and sad when I think about money.
I feel unworthy to have money.
I feel I’m meant to struggle financially.
I feel fulfilled and have control when I spend money however I want.
Step 2: What are the lies I believe about myself and money?
Be sure to take time to really DIG in. Do you believe you’ll never have enough? Do you believe that everyone around you is meant to succeed but you? Do you believe that money makes you feel good only when you spend, so you find yourself spending more than you actually have? Once you’ve uncovered the lies, the next step is to take time to write down the truths about yourself and money. Healing isn’t linear so take your time processing through this. You can google scripture or quotes on money for some inspiration.
For example (goes along with examples from above):
Money is a tool, a resource where I get to make an impact with how I spend my money.
I have buying power, it matters how I spend my money.
The amount of money I have doesn’t determine my worth, value or identity.
I am worthy of love and don’t need to spend money to feel or be accepted.
Step 3: Continue to dig deep, confront, and uproot.
Healing isn’t linear so I encourage you to keep unpacking, processing through your money beliefs. Pay attention to your spending habits and how it correlates to how your feeling. Or the stressors in your life and how it impacts you mentally.
So friend may you embark on a journey to build a healthy relationship to money!
Until next time,
Jasmine
I'm not where I thought I'd be by now
I turned 39 yesterday and if I’m honest the weeks leading up to it shook me at my core. To be that much closer to 40 brought so many feelings and thoughts. The loudest voice being: “I’m not where I thought I’d be by now.” As I let this voice simmer in my inner being, I heard another voice: “Well, where did you think you’d be?” Suddenly, my spiraling thoughts stopped. As I continue to sit with that curious question…I have no words. No words, because as I reflect, I have everything I could possibly think of. I have a home filled with people I deeply love and who deeply love me. I have a non profit that I get to lead as I partner with my neighbors. I get to make my living out of my creative expressions. I have amazing friendships, and so much more.
Maybe instead of saying, “I’m not where I thought I’d be at 39,” I can say, “I didn’t think my 30’s would be so hard.” Now that feels true. As I look back there’s been so many highs and so many lows. From losing my entire community of friends, to a pandemic, to my daughter being diagnosed with a chronic illness and more. But the more I reflect the more I see the good: I started my healing journey around my cultural identity, my story, and my beliefs around money. I built new friendships where mutuality was/is at the center. We bought a home within our means (if you don’t know we lost our first home in 2010). We became student loan and debt free. I’ve become a better mom and wife. So in all of the hard, I see the character building it did into shaping me to be who I am today as wife, mother, daughter, friend, and boss.
So, may we reframe how we talk to ourselves. Our accomplishments do not determine our identity or sense of worth. The world doesn’t get to tell us we aren’t enough. How much money we have in the bank doesn’t determine our level of success. Our success is determined by aligning our decisions in a way that brings us each joy and meaning. And friend, that looks different for everyone, which means we can find peace and rest through releasing the pressure to compare.
Until next time friend,
xoxo
Jasmine
LETS TALK ABOUT MONEY....
Finances is something that doesn't come easy to me. I never learned how to manage it, so I just did the best I knew. Four years ago, we went to a budget bootcamp class, and it was the first time Jeremy and I actually were on the same page, saw that we could save (we just weren't) and more! We created a plan to finish paying off our student loan debt, and anything else that was outstanding.
Now that we learned how to budget, and paid off of our debt, I was still feeling a disconnect b/t our finances and our budget. Almost as if, no matter how hard we worked, our budget felt tighter and tighter. I came to realize that I wasn't financially literate. I didn't know what it meant to create a plan for it, how to invest or anything.
I remember sometime in Dec. of 2017, I asked God to teach me about money. And literally within 30mins, He places a someone in my life who says she wants to mentor me. Let me be honest, the first week we met, I heard some hard words that I needed to hear. She told me I had limited thinking when it came to money.
What I mean, is that, I had a poverty mindset. Now I'm about to get real and vulnerable here. I hope this is a safe space for me to not feel judged, but I truly believed that my life was meant to be one of struggle, and never having enough. When I thought about God and all of who he is, I believed that He is who He says He is for everyone else but me. I had no idea how much it controlled me, my thoughts, my actions, and how I perceived other people. This is one of the many topics I get to talk, process, and heal from with my therapist.
So when She said I had limited thinking, it was almost as if the scales on my eyes fell off. And I was immediately intrigued. I wanted to learn more!!! So she gave me homework, and told me to start educating myself on the world of finances.
So I love to share with you what I'm learning!
1. Read Poor Dad Rich Dad
THIS BOOK!!!! I believe every entrepreneur should read this book. I mean, every business owner should be reading books on finance! Why? Well because we are in business to make a profit, and if we don't understand how money works, or how to make it work for us, how can we profit off of it? Anyways this book revolutionized my mind. My one big take away, was to to stop saying," I can't afford that."
2. Started Reading Unstoppable by Tony Robbins
I had heard of Tony Robbins before, but if I'm honest I didn't ever really know much about him. All that came to mind was seminars and a Netflix documentary?!? In which I could be totally wrong. Well, he popped up on my facebook feed in a private entrepreneur group I'm in, and was mesmerized by him, and everything he was saying. So I bought his book, and am more than halfway through it! It's been so good learning about investing, how to find an advisor who would be a fiduciary, and more.
3. Signed up for a Real Estate Flipping workshop
You know how FB can get creepy sometimes right?!? Well, this couple popped up in my feed about flipping homes, and Jeremy and I have had several conversations about us starting to flip homes, but we always pushed it to the back burner. Well, this couple popped up and they were offering a free workshop. Now I knew they may be selling something, but wanted to dip my toes into the world of real estate and see what I could learn from it. Rick from Poor Dad, Rich Dad, talks about learning a formula and sticking with it! So the goal here was to learn their formula of real estate, see if it's a good fit for us, and then put it into practice! Flipping homes here we come!!!
4. Had lunch with my dad and chatted about investing
Both Rick and Tony talk about getting around people who know more than you. I have heard my dad talk about investing in stock, and wanted to have a one on one conversation with him, about what he's learned, and any nuggets he can give me, as I continue to learn, and decide which route I want to go in when it comes to investing in stock. It's all about diversifying baby!
5. Started Reading The Money Type.
This book is amazing. It's based on 7 biblical characters in which you take a test to see which one you identify with. He then goes through each money type and shares who they each feel, think and act with money. I've learned soooo much about myself, and how God created me. I especially recommend this book if you are married, because you will learn such great insight on how your spouse sees money, and how your differences aren't wrong, but different.