I’ve always been curious about money even as a little girl, however growing up money wasn’t talked about often. What I knew about money was that it didn’t grow on trees, and the only way to get money was by working hard for it. I started working at the age of 14 making $7 an hour working 12 hr shifts on weekends during the summer, I’m pretty sure that was illegal. When I got paid I put it all in savings and didn’t spend a cent. I was praised for this behavior but looking back it was really rooted out of the fear of not making more and so I needed to hold onto it….scarcity has followed me ever since.
It wasn’t until I started confronting and uprooting the lies I believed about myself and money where I began to heal. I truly believe that our lived experiences deeply impacts how we see ourselves, the world, and money. I can’t say I’m fully healed, but I can say the growth I have had has been amazing. As we entered into 2023 with so much economic uncertainty all around us, it could be easy for me to spiral with my thought patterns, especially in the midst of yet another hard personal financial season. But this time it’s different than before. We have an emergency fund and we are living a fully abundant life in the midst of the numbers not adding up. Our needs are being met along with desires being sprinkled in-between. I call this creative provision. I can share more about that another day, because creative provision is a beautiful opportunity to sit and marvel in all the ways God provides without the actual exchange of physical dollars.
If you’re on a healing journey with money here’s some questions you can reflect on. But first know that stewarding money should be joyful, not filled with shame and fear. Tell shame and fear it doesn’t belong here as you begin to unpack your beliefs around money.
Step 1: When I think about money, how do I feel?
We all have had experiences with money that have impacted us. Take this time to unpack how money makes you feel? How does not having enough make you feel? Or how does having so much of it make you feel? etc.
For example:
I feel depressed and sad when I think about money.
I feel unworthy to have money.
I feel I’m meant to struggle financially.
I feel fulfilled and have control when I spend money however I want.
Step 2: What are the lies I believe about myself and money?
Be sure to take time to really DIG in. Do you believe you’ll never have enough? Do you believe that everyone around you is meant to succeed but you? Do you believe that money makes you feel good only when you spend, so you find yourself spending more than you actually have? Once you’ve uncovered the lies, the next step is to take time to write down the truths about yourself and money. Healing isn’t linear so take your time processing through this. You can google scripture or quotes on money for some inspiration.
For example (goes along with examples from above):
Money is a tool, a resource where I get to make an impact with how I spend my money.
I have buying power, it matters how I spend my money.
The amount of money I have doesn’t determine my worth, value or identity.
I am worthy of love and don’t need to spend money to feel or be accepted.
Step 3: Continue to dig deep, confront, and uproot.
Healing isn’t linear so I encourage you to keep unpacking, processing through your money beliefs. Pay attention to your spending habits and how it correlates to how your feeling. Or the stressors in your life and how it impacts you mentally.
So friend may you embark on a journey to build a healthy relationship to money!
Until next time,
Jasmine