Well sort of….I received a scholarship in partnership with North Park University to take a master level class at Stateville Correctional Center. The class I’ll be taking is called Communicating the Gospel in Context, where I’ll have the opportunity to learn and glean from Professor Soong-Chan Rah. I had a chance to hear him speak at our orientation and man the 5 minutes he spoke on racism and more, was so impactful and mind blowing in terms of gaining words for the very real complexities of white supremacy and the way in which our criminal justice system failed black and brown people.
If I can be honest, at first when the opportunity became available, I was hesitant.
You see my college experience was jaded. As a first generation college student, I fell into the traps of a predatory school that used high interest alternative loans as “the way,” to pay for college, however it came with no understanding, at the time, what capital interest was. I was told not to worry about it, and to request as much money as I needed to live, eat, study and even shop. All I needed to do was give them my social and sign on the line.
Luckily for me, I didn’t take additional funds out for anything other than tuition and my living expenses. But before I knew it, I was over 80k in debt with only an associates degree in Fashion Design.
However, to keep this story short….a few years later my student loan debt inflated nearly to 100k when God intervened and literally wiped my debt away. I’ll have to share how another day….but I share all this because while there’s a desire to go back to school to get my Bachelors, the idea of getting back into student loan debt is a no go for me! We officially have been student loan debt free for over 3 years, and I honestly have no desire to get back into it.
However last year, I shared my heart with Jeremy and told him that I felt that God may be sending me back to school….but that if I went back, God would have to figure out the tuition. And Jeremy with such conviction, questioned the realities of how BIG our God is, and posed the question….
“What if you went back to school, but it doesn’t look like how we know it to be?”
These exact words resonated in my heart when the opportunity to take this class became available.
So, I said yes.
I said yes to giving higher education another chance.
I said yes to being challenged in my studying and intellect.
It will be an opportunity to prove to myself that I can do this, that I’m smart enough, and have the willingness and desire to learn.
I said yes knowing that I have always struggled with reading comprehension….and am going to do everything I can to press through every insecurity and fear I have.
It will also be an opportunity to learn along side inside students who are also exploring a MDIV. I will be able to learn alongside my classmates as equals, but then have to reconcile that at the end of each class I get to leave. It will be an opportunity to engage in community with often the overlooked, the accused. Where names and stories will be paired with faces, and before I know it something that may seem so white and black for others, may not be for me anymore.
So friend, I officially start next week….and literally have all the feels.
I walk into this opportunity with open hands and an open heart as I lean in and hear from the Lord, while also exploring what it means to communicate the gospel in context.
Well friend, that’s it for today! As you take time to reflect on this past week, and even month, I pray that you may see all the ways in which God has moved and revealed himself to you.
May you feel his presence and love in new and deeper ways.
Much love,
Jasmine
