WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY FRIEND, MELISSA.

It's crazy to think that it's been one month since my friend Melissa passed away. Grief as a way of coming in moments not expected, where all of sudden, I find myself crying. I think of her often, and how so many miss her too, especially her family and husband. If you don't know anything about Melissa, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer a few years ago, after treatment she started a shop called Hope 25. Her dream was to grow her photography business, and continue to inspire the cancer community through her inspirational t-shirt designs, and then her Breast Cancer Metastasized rather quickly taking her independence.

Our friendship started at the time of her first diagnosis. We first connected through Facebook, and then started getting together for coffee dates, and if not coffee then it was tacos. We talked about photography, family/marriage, Jesus, and how we wanted to impact the world. We were also accountability partners at the beginning of 2017 for our businesses, and would text each other often. Needless to say, while we weren't  friends for lots of years, she was a very dear friend to me and greatly impacted my life. I'm grateful that she allowed me to walk along side her as she battled Breast Cancer. As a way to celebrate her life, I wanted to write a blog post on how Melissa left an everlasting fingerprint on me.

So, here's 6 things she taught me.

HOW TO PUNCH FEAR IN THE FACE.

This was her mantra. When she was first diagnosed, she told me that this was her season of punching fear in the face. I saw this girl use her story to help and inspire so many. She didn't allow her insecurities, or fears to stop her. While she may have been soft spoken when meeting new people, she was bold and courageous on social media. Now punching fear in the face didn't mean she didn't have fears, because she did. It was through her vulnerability that encouraged so many to know that it's okay to have fears, but to stand in truth, and to overcome those fears.

TO OPEN UP MY HEART FOR FRIENDSHIP AGAIN.

I went through a major loss of friendships before Melissa entered my life. Her friendship helped me to open up my heart, and allow myself to befriended, and loved.

HOW TO LISTEN.

Melissa was a great listener. Sometimes she'd let me just talk, while she listened. One thing she didn't want was to constantly talk about her cancer and treatments. She wanted to feel normal, and did that by wanting to know what was going on with me, which was extremely hard for me, but wanted to honor her wishes. Other times, we just watched random TV shows together, like CatFish.

TO JUST GO FOR IT.

When Melissa shared her shop idea with me, she was a little hesitant in how to do it and make it all work, and then I kid you not, a week later she launched her website, and Insta. I was like "whoa".....She just went for it. She may have not had it all figured out, but she was going to, and that determination led her selling over 1,000 t-shirts.

TO LAUGH AND DANCE MORE ESPECIALLY WITH THOSE YOU LOVE.

Melissa had the sweetest laugh, she did this thing with her nose where she would scrunch it and giggle. She taught me to laugh and be silly. I also loved watching her IG stories when she would laugh and dance with her husband. It was so inspiring to watch the love she had for him, and for her family.

CHERISH YOUR FAMILY

Melissa had this amazing connection with her family. She loved spending time with her mom, and sometimes when we went to events together, her mom would come along. I loved it! Their bond was truly special, but this wasn't just with her mom, she had this bond with her brother too. As a matter of fact they did their photography business together. I loved watching how her family loved each other so well and deep.

I'm sure I could write a ton more, but I end with this! Melissa, I miss you friend. But I can imagine you dancing and laughing with Jesus right now, and that gives me peace, knowing that I'll get to see you again.

CLICK FOR HOPE | SEARCHING FOR MYSELF

Please share your story:

I’m an author, artist, dancer, cellist and mother. But I couldn’t say that so concisely eleven years ago…I only found and redefined myself in 2014. Before that, I was Octavia, the cellist, the French major, the world-traveler, Miss Michigan.
After college, I competed for Miss America and when I came home without the crown, I married my love and we moved to Chicago to begin our life together. We were surprised to become parents within our first year of marriage and panicked, suddenly desperate to do everything “right.” The shoulds we were both raised with were that good wholesome Christian families were homeowners in the suburbs with a dog and van. Check, check, check and check.
As we began to complete our American Dream checklist, I realized the more we checked-off, the bigger the void in my heart grew. My husband felt a strong calling to become a pastor of a small urban ministry center and I supported it wholeheartedly. I felt a strong calling too – whether corporate or academic, I felt I had so much more to give than birthing children, although that had become my life.
I went to graduate school. I dropped out of graduate school. I started a full-time job. We had another child. I quit the full-time job to be a full-time mom. But something was wrong. I wasn’t like those moms that are fulfilled being moms. They were so happy with their children, nestling securely in their roles as homemakers. Content. Placid. They LOVED being moms. I loved being a mom, too, but that wasn’t all. I couldn’t place my finger on it, but I was far from content. I was lonely and isolated. So I made up some friends; I started writing books.
While writing was my creative outlet, my scientific side was also understimulated and I wanted to have a career that provided more paycheck than risk. I felt called to healthcare and began my post-bac pre-med coursework. I was desperately searching for myself. I was depressed. I was hopeless. I was bored and unsatisfied. I wanted more than my suburban prison with really cute cell mates. I wanted friends. I needed a bigger purpose. I needed to contribute to the world outside of my home. I had drive. I had zeal. I had a full tank of gas but no GPS.
I was pregnant again. I started designing nonprofit youth programs and writing grants to fund them. I lost my third child. I was still taking my classes, teaching private cello lessons, working part-time coordinating a STEM grant at a community college, working part-time at the ministry center, running the grant programs I designed and wrote to fund, and then, yes: enter child number four.
We had our fourth child.

I finally got into the medical program for which I had been applying for years. And my husband and I came to a crossroads. He didn’t understand why I wasn’t satisfied. He didn’t understand why I wasn’t fulfilled making our home my career. We went to counseling. We tried going on dates. We tried getting to know each other again. And we realized the very hard and sad truth: I would never be the wife he wanted. He would never be the husband I wanted. He would never be satisfied with me being myself. I would never be satisfied with him being himself. So, now what do we do?
We got a divorce. I wonder if divorce is harder when neither one of you is the Bad Guy. I dropped out of school and feverishly took to finding my footing in a way that I could live in the city, near friends, and finally realize my larger-than-life dreams of serving others, writing books that are more paycheck than risk, and still being a creative and nerdy mom.
As my circle began to learn about my divorce I realized I was part of a secret sisterhood of silently suffering beauties – wives, unfulfilled by their relationships, and suffocated by the shoulds of motherhood. I began blogging to help myself and others navigate the treacherous and uncharted trails of unexpected emotional trauma. I called the blog Road to Relovery (roadtorelovery.com) and continue to write from my experience of being a single mom of three, trying to honor God and myself and my children with every decision I make.
Finally, here I am, three and a half years post-divorce, successfully co-parenting with my once-husband, successfully working in a career that is more paycheck than risk and uses both my writing skills and healthcare passions to serve one of the country’s leading children’s hospitals; and I’m about to release the first episode in my sci-fi fantasy series, The Hibouleans, with nine more episodes already written – and I’m working on my next biblical fiction novel, Hem. I’m proud of my journey, not only because I am being more true to myself, which helps me be a better mother to my boys, but also because I didn’t have to choose between God’s calling for me and the weight of the shoulds.

How has your story shaped who you are today?:

I am a better me -- author, artist, dancer, cellist and mother. My dreams are coming to life. I am flourishing. My children are thriving. And I feel like I've only taken the first step.
www.octaviareese.com

What compelled you to want to share your story with us?:

I have had a colorful reset to the adulthood chapters of my life and I know there are other moms out there that can benefit from knowing they are not alone.

What encouraging words would you give to someone who shares a similar story?:

Marriage: it is scary; it is NOT what anyone says. It takes work, no matter what. Your relationship does not define you; you define it and your partnership should serve BOTH of you, not one more than the other. Neither of you should need each other; rather you should want to be with each other and make the decision daily to honor each other and make your relationship work. And finally, whatever blessings and scars you each bring to your partnership from your childhoods, remember that you define your own culture for your family. You determine your traditions, your norms, and your boundaries.

Parenting: there is no manual to parenting, but you can't parent well when you aren't well yourself. If your goals, career, or relationship is detracting from your ability to be your best parent to your children, then that factor needs a reset and an adjustment. You can only be your best parent to your children when you are your best self. Take care of your kids by serving yourself, setting boundaries for yourself and your children, and by carving time for your own spiritual-mental-emotional health BEFORE you burn out! Be gentle with yourself and your children. Always lead with love and be the parent you wish you had when you were a child.

Dreams: a dream deferred isn't a dream denied (Langston Hughes), but don't martyr yourself in the name of fulfilling everyone elses expectations of you. It's OK if you're that mom or dad that isn't fulfilled by being a parent. I wasn’t. And it’s OK. When a tree grows a new branch, it doesn't cut the others off. Parenting is just one branch of the tree that is you, and all branches need nourishment and sunlight in order to bear beautiful fruit. You are a better parent when you are your best self and if your best self finds fulfillment outside the home, don't deprive yourself of that light -- and don't let anyone else tell you you're

BREAKFAST WITH MOMMY

My niece loves her mommy, and eating breakfast together. So I wanted to play around a bit and capture a moment that is so special to them. You see, it's not about perfect photos, but rather being photographed in a way that really showcases who you are as a family. And for every family, it will be something different. And for these 2 breakfast is their jam, it's the time they connect, and just be!

NEW MUSIC VIDEO "JESUS WE LOVE YOU"

Hi Everyone, it's Jeremy here! I wanted to share the first of what I hope will be many music videos. I have a huge passion for leading worship and have come across so many great songs that have encouraged my faith. I'll be recording stripped down versions of some of my favorite worship songs, originals songs, and even songs that I've come to love. My hope is to share these songs with you so that you too can be encouraged. So be sure to check back here often for new videos and subscribe to my YouTube channel!

CELEBRATING OUR WINS FROM 2017

You guys we are 11 days into the new year, and I felt this strong sense that before I start sharing, and digging deep into our life, and all that we hope for in 2018, that I should take a moment to celebrate our wins from 2017. Right?!?  So as I have taken time to sit, and write, I'm so excited to share all that we accomplished in 2017.

Now, I confess, we weren't the best at goal setting then, and I don't have record of what ALL our goals were. But I do know which goals we achieved and wanted to share them with you, and maybe do a little victory dance for them....hmmm....that sounds like fun?!? :)

I'm also sharing them, so I can sit in the reality that while we weren't good at goal setting we accomplished some pretty BIG goals last year, and for that, it's something worth celebrating!!!

1. Go on a couples trip.

This was a goal I never thought we'd accomplish, but Jeremy made it happen sooner than any of our other goals. For my birthday, which happens to be in Jan., he surprised me with a trip to LA. So for 5 days we got to just have fun, not work, and be together. It was definitely a great way start of the year for our marriage.

2. Find a therapist. (Jasmine's personal goal)

In April of 2017, I hit my darkest most hardest depression. Mental illness is something I've always wrestled with, but hadn't done any work on talking through my past, or start the healing process. I have known that I should be talking with someone, but finding that trusted person was hard. Well, through my small group, a friend shared her therapist's info. with me. I'll admit, after my friend texted me the therapists contact info., it took me a few more weeks to reach out, and then a few more weeks to officially get a session scheduled. It's been over 6 months now that I started my healing journey, and I couldn't be more grateful to my therapist and to God for all the healing that I've experienced in such a short amount of time.

3. Go on a family vacation.

Going on a family vacation is something we had always wanted to do, but knew we would need a big budget in order to make it happen. Especially since the kids were asking to go to Orlando. So we crunched the numbers mid-summer and asked ourselves if this was something we could really do. While Jeremy and I had 2 different opinions on this, I felt I should follow his lead, which isn't always easy for me. He believed that somehow extra money, not a part of our budget, would become available, and that's how we would pay for our vacation, coupled with finding great deals. Well I kid you not in less than 48hrs later, Jeremy was hired for a design project, and to lead worship at a church. Between both of those gigs it covered most of the cost for our trip. I promise I'll share more in detail on how we did our vacation at a super affordable cost in another post. But yay, in November 2017, we took our very first family vacation.

4. Buy a 2nd Vintage Trailer of our Photo Booth Business.

This was a business goal of ours, well maybe more mine than Jeremy's. With the craziness of our schedules we just knew we had to outsource most of the work, and leave painting, and decor to me. In July we picked it up, and in less than one week, we celebrated our new trailer at the most beautiful backyard wedding we had ever been at. Her name is Faye. You can see what it looks like here: jaziphotobooth.com.

5. Pay off our Car.

This goal took lots of determination.....why?!? Well, because my income fluctuates so much, and to intentionally set a big chunk of money each month in our budget to pay off the car was extremely scary. There were months were we didn't have enough, and the average $ amount per month just continued to increase. But God! Through determination, and staying focused on the goal, in Dec. 2017 we paid it off. Yay!!! We are one step closer to being a debt free family! Next is our mortgage....here's to dreaming right?!?

What were some of your goals in 2017 that you accomplished?!?!? I love to celebrate those wins with you!!!

-Jasmine

THE GIFT OF LETTING GO

Family Photos by: Ed and Aileen Photography

There's something about planning for a photo shoot that gets beyond stressful and crazy. Have you ever asked yourself why?!? For me, when I dug deep, I came to realize that I had this expectation of perfection. I wanted everyone to perform. I wanted my husband to be on the same page as me. I wanted my girls to cooperate, and do what the photographer told them to do. This was an ongoing expectation for years....

Well this past July, we had our annual family photo shoot, and I was determined to approach it differently. I'm excited to share the freedom I found when I took a deep breath and let go!

Step 1: Identified my why?!?

Okay so you may be wondering...."What the heck does that mean?!?" Well, I believe each of us should have a "why," when doing a family session. It helps to keep us grounded, and focused on the purpose of why we are doing this, and it helps us to move away from the perfection, bribing, etc. Every family's why will be different. For some it may be to celebrate an addition to the family, for others it may be because you walked through infertility, and you want to document this miracle, for others this may because your in the midst of transition, and so on. Whatever your why is, remind yourself of it, and cling ever so tight onto it! Here's our why: We were in the midst of so much transition, between our oldest being a tween, with hormonal changes and all, to our middle child about to start kindergarten, to our little one no longer being a baby. So much change was happening, and I wanted to capture the essence of what that looked like for us as a family while doing all the things we love to do together. 

Step 2: Found a photographer who is on the same page with what I was looking to capture. 

I told our photographers that I wanted to celebrate this season of life that we are in the midst of, and that our home is a place of safety and togetherness. That I really wanted that to be the focus. The real us!!! And they were all for it.

Step 3: Styling our outfits

For some you may not resonate with this step and that's totally okay! Feel free to move onto step 4. For me though, I love styling, and I love coordinating our outfits. Now that doesn't mean go spend hundreds of dollars on outfits. We personally live on a small budget. I think I got our outfits for less than a 100 bucks at Target. The most important part when it comes to styling is making sure that you stay true to yourself. Ask yourself, "Is this something I'd actually wear while out with the family or with friends?" If you're honest and say no, then keep looking. The point in this is to be intentional and focused on your why, and getting lost in shopping can steer us away from our why. Also be aware that perfection can easily creep in. For me, I had to constantly remind myself of our why.

Step 4: Created a plan by asking myself, "What do we love to do as a family?"

This is such an important step, because each family spends their time differently, and depending on the season of life you are in, I'm sure you have some special things that you love to do together. So why not have those special family things captured?!? For us, our home is a place were we can just be. We love cooking together, having snuggle parties in our bed, having hammock time, playing and singing together, and so much more. I wanted all of this photographed, especially since it coincided with our why. 

Step 5: Committed to no arguing on the day of our photo shoot

You guys this is a huge one!!! I can't tell you how many times we've gotten into arguments right before a photo session, and man has it messed up the flow. Everyone is holding grievances against each other. The kids are stressed. I'm stressed, and everything just feels forced. But this time around we just had fun with it. I even took a moment to look at the mirror to encourage myself, and gave myself permission to have fun.

Step 6: Just have fun with it!

Now, I'm not going to lie, the house wasn't as cleaned as I would have liked. I had an outfit malfunction, and so much more. Instead of focusing on what didn't go as planned, I took a deep breath, and let go!!! And boy did we have fun! We laughed, tickled and played together. By the end of the session, we were shocked at how fun it was. And can I just say....the photos turned out to be everything we wanted.....I may have even cried! They represent us in the most authentic way ever.

All in all friends, there's such freedom in letting go! I hope that when it's time to have your family photographed that you would dig deep, find your why, and allow yourself to have fun while letting go of perfection. 

IT'S FINALLY HERE!

photo by: ed and aileen photography

Man you guys, it feels like forever since Jeremy and I started dreaming up what this brand would look like, well not really. I started rebranding back in Oct. I think it took longer to figure out the name.....we had so many good ideas and concepts to which many where already taken, or they just didn't convey what we had hoped.

And even now that we've shared Authentic Adventure with you, everything in me is asking...."Does it make sense? Will it work? Are we trying to squeeze in too many parts into one?" I mean, I get that it's totally going against the grain and all, but as I shared in our WHY REBRAND post, I just couldn't keep up with the Jones's. I'm choosing to let go, and allow ourselves the freedom to share our true selves.

I'm still navigating what that means exactly and how much we will share, but I know that there's lots that we can share about life, our backgrounds, our approach to marriage and family, and so much more!

-Jasmine Lopez

WHY REBRAND? | Read 1st

Six years ago, I quit my lucrative freelance job to pursue my passion, photography! Along the way, I listened to the outside voices that told me how to do things, and in turn I lost myself. I believed that I needed to separate all of who I am into different accounts. I wrestled with how much I could share, and finding the time to update each one became overwhelming. I realized that my Jazi Photo brand looked like me, but wasn't fully me.  Authentic Adventure is my way of reconnecting with my art and whole myself: a mom, wife, Jesus lover, creative and more. I'm all the more excited for my husband, Jeremy, to jump in and share his heart, ideas, and creativity too. Because you guys, he's a freaking awesome husband, dad, singer and creative. :)

I'm excited to see what Authentic Adventure will turn into. But I'm all the more excited to share MORE of us, in hopes that you are encouraged by our story, our love for our family, and for our faith.

-Jasmine Lopez

WHY I STARTED CLICK FOR HOPE

I often get asked, "Why did you start Click for Hope? Why do it for free? How do you find your stories?" Well before I can answer those questions, I have to share Sally with you! She was my very first CLICK FOR HOPE story back in 2011 before it ever existed. While at church one day, she shared her story with us and I was so moved by it. This crazy idea came to my head....what would it look like if I partnered with a makeup artist, photographed her, and shared her story on my website?!? So after the gathering, I approached her and shared this idea, in which she said yes! A few months later, she was sitting in my studio and as she was getting makeup done...she just started talking. The more she shared, the more she glistened. She saw her #cancer as a way to start fresh and to restore relationships. At the end of the session, I asked her if she would be willing to take off her head scarf. She paused for a moment, and then softly nodded. I knew this was a moment of freedom for her and I had to capture it in the most authentic way possible. You see she had never publicly showed her bare head. It was an area of insecurity for her. But by the end of the session she had a fearless confidence. I left that day knowing THIS is exactly what I wanted to be doing. That everyone who gets in front of my camera would know their story matters, that they would know they are beautiful, and that they aren't alone!

Why did you start CLICK FOR HOPE?

After Sally's shoot, I continued to focus on my photography business called Jazi Photo. But the Lord kept pressing my heart, asking me, "Why do stories matter." You see, then, Jazi Photo's tag line was, "What will be Your Story?" but I wasn't doing anything to actually know my clients on a deeper level. I felt empty as I didn't feel I was living to my fullest potential. I walked through a journey with the Lord searching and gaining understanding on what scripture says about our stories! In which, the Bible says a lot about why our stories matter, but James 5:16-17 stuck out the most to me! As I dug deeper into this verse here's 4 things I discovered:
1. Make it your common practice to confess to one another- We are called to share with one another. There's a vulnerability that comes in sharing pieces of who we are with someone we trust!
2. So we can live together Whole and Healed.- God doesn't want for us to walk in brokenness. The more we share, the more we allow Him to make us whole and healed from the inside out!
3. The prayers of a righteous person is powerful...- You guys it doesn't just end at sharing. When we share our struggles, all that we are going through with someone who also loves Jesus, it creates accountability. This person will now check in with you, see how your doing and will also pray for you!!!

4. And effective.- there's power in our prayers. When we pray, it creates opportunities for God to be who He says he is, and then brings us back to being made whole and healed.

Isn't this beautiful?!? I could go on and on about these 2 verses, but I'll do that another day!

Why do I do it for free?
As I studied scripture on the power of our stories, I also quickly learned He has a lot to say about how we run our businesses. I long to live the God Dream versus the American Dream. My bottom line is not what fuels me, but rather living in my purpose and calling! I have seen God move and has always been faithful. The more I focus on giving back, the more He has blessed the works of my hands and expanded my territory. Our bookings, whether it be photography, film, or our photo booth, it gives and help support CLICK FOR HOPE.

How do I find the stories?
Believe it or not it's all been through word of mouth. Also social media has been wonderful too! It's been amazing meeting and sharing the stories of those all over the country!
What's been really helpful has been having the topics I want to share ready ahead of time. That way I schedule all the storytellers in one day! We've turned them into these amazing events where makeup artists, stylists and more partner with me in creating a beautiful experience. It's amazing what happens when you gather a group of women who share a similar story.